I was up until my 5th revision of my review of The Watchmen when I finally just gave up. (For Daft Punk scoring Tr2N I was up until my 4th- wasn't satisfied with what I wrote so I did what I do best: give up)
But I just read Best Week Ever's review of The Watchmen, and I gotta say, this one takes the cake. Funny and everything I wanted to say "verbatimly".
From Best Week Ever:
A gay friend of mine had the extreme pleasure of seeing Watchmen. Here is his review:
I’m no Blaine Edwards or Antoine Merriwether, but if I were, I would tell you this movie deserves two snaps in a Z-formation because, let me tell you, this movie is raining men. I’m talking Matthew Goode in a Rubbermaid mansuit with built-in abs just poppin’ out everywhere. I’m talking Patrick Wilson in a made-for-Showtime sex scene. I’m talking Billy Crudup’s digital manmeat flopping All. Over. The. Place. This would help explain why the theater was 90 percent gays, nerds, and gay nerds.
There are so many menzs in this movie that you might just wanna wait for Blu-Ray where you can take full advantage of the slow motion, zoom and popup features — and gurl, I’ve never seen a movie that makes me want to use my popup more than this one. Did I mention Billy Crudup walks through most of the film naked? Entirely naked with a big blue glowing P’ness?!!! I personally would like to thank the person who took the time to generously animate my dreams. And they were quite generous. As a matter of fact, there’s one scene where he’s walking up and down the stairs and…. I should stop.
All this, however, does not save the film from its nearly 3-hour run time. I have a feeling that if it was reasonable-movie length, I’d be glowing. Fans of the graphic novel and lovers of peen will cherish every second of every frame, but by the end of the second hour I was like B.I.G.: Ready to Die, y’all.
